摘要:这世界上人与人间如何相遇或是相恋的故事千奇百怪,有些顺理成章,也有一些极为巧合的机缘促成。最近推特上一位ID「Sixthformpoet」的推友发表了三个精彩非凡的故事,这些故事让我们看到缘分是多么巧

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推特话题《我和老婆因为扫墓结缘》 扫墓不稀奇后面才是真正超展开⊙Д⊙-唯淘网
图片来自:elitedaily.com

这世界上人与人间如何相遇或是相恋的故事千奇百怪,有些顺理成章,也有一些极为巧合的机缘促成。最近推特上一位ID「Sixthformpoet」的推友发表了三个精彩非凡的故事,这些故事让我们看到缘分是多么巧妙,也展现了人类美好的一面。虽然作者本人坚称这些都是真人真事,但这内容太光明让我有点半信半疑......当然,如果都是真的,那只能说太好了,这个世界上永远都还有好人存在,更棒的是他们会把他们的下一代也都教育成体贴的好人,以及,现实总是比小说更疯狂,缘分永远在你想不到的时候降临......

推特ID「Sixthformpoet」的推友,在推特上分享了三个动人的故事

推测应该是个英国人。在自我介绍拦,他写着:买我的书,我欠人钱。恩......其实他的这本诗集是7年前出版的,所以不见得跟现在分享的这些故事有关

推特话题《我和老婆因为扫墓结缘》 扫墓不稀奇后面才是真正超展开⊙Д⊙-唯淘网
图片来自:twitter.com/sixthformpoet/amazon.co.uk

虽说我翻译得不怎样,但这是一个很棒的故事,我还是希望有更多人可以读到他们。

 

这些故事分别是关于爱、同情心、与缘份(或是幽默感)

「早安,接下来跟大家分享一件完全是真人真事的故事,分成三部分,一个部份10条推,」 

Hello, good morning. A ridiculous but ENTIRELY TRUE story coming up, told in three parts. Ten tweets per part so you might want to a) make a strong coffee, or b) ignore me

— sixthformpoet (@sixthformpoet) 2019年6月9日

 

 

一.

 「我爸过世了,这完全就是一个笑话的经典开头,他葬在Sussex的一个小村庄里,我爸生前我跟他非常亲近,所以我常常去扫墓,到现在还是如此(别担心,接下来就越来越好笑了)」

ONE

My dad died. Classic start to a funny story. He was buried in a small village in Sussex. I was really close to my dad so I visited his grave a lot. I still do. [DON’T WORRY, IT GETS FUNNIER.]

— sixthformpoet (@sixthformpoet) 2019年6月9日

 

 

 「我总是带着花去,我妈也是,还有当时我祖父母也还在健在,也总是带着花去扫墓,所以我爸的坟墓总是像是在花展一样」

I always took flowers and my mum visited a lot and she always took flowers and my grandparents were still alive then and they always took flowers. My dad’s grave frequently resembled a solid third place at the Chelsea Flower Show.

— sixthformpoet (@sixthformpoet) 2019年6月9日

 

 

 「这很不错,但我对埋在我爸旁边的那个家伙有点抱歉。他的坟前从来都没有出现过任何一束花。他是在37岁的圣诞节那天过世的。从来没有人替他献花,然后现在隔壁突然时不时出现一间快闪花店。所以我也开始送花给他,我开始买花给一个我从来都没见过面的死人」

Nice but I felt bad for the guy buried next to my dad. He NEVER had flowers. Died on Christmas Day aged 37, no one left him flowers and now there’s a pop-up florist in the grave next door. So I started buying him flowers. I STARTED BUYING FLOWERS FOR A DECEASED MAN I’D NEVER MET.

— sixthformpoet (@sixthformpoet) 2019年6月9日

 

 

 「我这么做好一阵子了,但我从来没有跟任何人提过这件事,这是我对我自己开的一个小玩笑,我只是多买一束花,就能让世界更美好一点,我知道这听起还很奇怪,但我有点把他当成朋友了」

I did this for quite some time, but I never mentioned it to anyone. It was a little private joke with myself, I was making the world a better place one bunch of flowers at a time. I know it sounds weird but I came to think of him as a friend.

— sixthformpoet (@sixthformpoet) 2019年6月9日

 

 

 「我开始会想我们之间是不是有什么看不见的关联,有什么东西让我被吸引,也许我们曾经上过同一间学校,在同一个足球场上踢过球,或是什么类似的事情。所以我google了他的名字,10秒钟后我就找到他了」

I wondered if there was a hidden connection between us, something secretly drawing me to him. Maybe we went to the same school, played for the same football club or whatever. So I googled his name, and ten seconds later I found him.

— sixthformpoet (@sixthformpoet) 2019年6月9日

 

 

 「他的老婆从来没给他献过花是因为他杀了她,在圣诞节那一天。他杀了她太太之后还杀死了她的双亲,然后在圣诞夜,他跳下了当地唯一一条火车铁轨。」

His wife didn’t leave him flowers BECAUSE HE’D MURDERED HER. ON CHRISTMAS DAY. After he murdered his wife, he murdered her parents too. And after that he jumped in front of the only train going through Balcombe tunnel that Christmas night.

— sixthformpoet (@sixthformpoet) 2019年6月9日

 

 

 「那就是为什么从来没有人给他献花的原因,当然,除了我之外。我给他送花,我每个几个礼拜就给他送花,整整两年半,我每隔几个礼拜就送花给他。」

THAT was why no one ever left him flowers. No one except me, of course. I left him flowers. I left him flowers every couple of weeks. Every couple of weeks FOR TWO AND A HALF YEARS.

— sixthformpoet (@sixthformpoet) 2019年6月9日

 

 

 

 「我对他的太太和她的双亲感到非常抱歉,现在,两年半之后,我不会再每个几个礼拜就给他送花了。但我还是觉得我欠他们一个道歉」

I felt terrible for his wife and her parents. Now, I wasn’t going to leave them flowers every couple of weeks for two and a half years but I did feel like I owed them some sort of apology.

— sixthformpoet (@sixthformpoet) 2019年6月9日

 

 

 「我找到他们葬在哪里后,买了花开车过去,就在我站在他们的坟前时,一个女人出现在我身后,她想知道我是谁,为什么我给她的阿姨跟祖父母献花。有够尴尬的」

I found out where they were buried, bought flowers and drove to the cemetery. As I was standing at their graves mumbling apologies, a woman appeared behind me. She wanted to know who I was and why I was leaving flowers for her aunt and grandparents. AWKWARD.

— sixthformpoet (@sixthformpoet) 2019年6月9日

 

 

 「我对她解释了这一切,她说OK是有点奇怪不过挺善良的。我说谢谢,对啊有点奇怪然后老天啊我问她要不要跟我去喝杯饮料,令人难以置信地,她说了YES,两年后当我向她求婚时,她再次说了YES,因为这就是我怎么跟我老婆相遇的

结束」

I explained and she said ok that’s weird but quite sweet. I said thanks, yes it is a bit weird and oh god I ASKED HER OUT FOR A DRINK. Incredibly, she said yes. Two years later she said yes again when I asked her to marry me because that is how I met my wife.

[END]

— sixthformpoet (@sixthformpoet) 2019年6月9日

 

 

 二

 「我们有两个孩子,去年,他们说想去迪士尼乐园,我们存了些钱预约了一趟旅行,但是比起跟他们说『好喔,你们想去迪士尼乐园我们就去吧』。我们决定要让他们自己来争取,我跟他们说他们必须赚到3000英镑(约12万台币)才行」

TWO

We had two children and last year they said they wanted to go to Disneyland. We saved up and booked it but rather than say sure you want to go to Disneyland let’s go to Disneyland, we decided to make them earn it. I told them they needed to raise £3,000.

— sixthformpoet (@sixthformpoet) 2019年6月9日

 

 

 

 「每次如果他们做了什么好事,我就出10英镑,如果他们调皮捣蛋,我就收走10英镑。只要凑足3000英镑我们就马上去迪士尼乐园。所以如果他们一天可以做10件好事然后都不调皮,一个月后就可以去迪士尼乐园了,很容易吧」

Every time they did something good, I’d add £10. Every time they were naughty, I’d take £10 away. £3,000 and we’d go to Disneyland IMMEDIATELY so if they did ten good things a day without being naughty they could go in a month. Easy.

— sixthformpoet (@sixthformpoet) 2019年6月9日

 

 

 「突然间他们变成超乖的孩子,我下班回家后他们会问你今天过得如何,我们可以帮你拿外套吗?我会说你们真好噢等等我懂了要记得加上10英镑对吧,然后他们会说只有10英镑吗我们说了哈囉帮你拿了外套 -好啦好啦加上60英镑就是了」

Suddenly they were PERFECT children. I’d get home from work and they’d be all how was your day, can we take your coat? I’d say this is nice oh right wait I get it, sure add ten pounds and they’d say ten pounds is that all - we said hi, took your coat - SURE OK ADD SIXTY POUNDS.

— sixthformpoet (@sixthformpoet) 2019年6月9日

 

 

 「就在我们要出门旅行的前一天,他们差不多已经累积2950镑了,我们在公园里玩飞盘,结果它掉到一个流浪汉身边,我们过去打声招呼,得知他叫作约翰,曾是个艺术家,而且他很会模仿Kermit青蛙的表情」

The day before we were due to go, they were on £2,950. We were playing frisbee in the park and it landed next to a homeless guy. We went over and said hello. His name was John and he was an artist and he did a VERY AMUSING Kermit The Frog impression.

— sixthformpoet (@sixthformpoet) 2019年6月9日

 

 

 

 「回家路上,显然我的孩子们从来不知道什么是流浪汉,他们想知道他怎么会有那么多东西,我说他住在那里,他们问那他的房子呢?他在哪里洗澡?他的工作是什么?」

Walking home it became clear my children had never seen a homeless person before. They wanted to know why he had so much stuff. I said he was living there and they said but what about his house and where does he wash and WHAT ABOUT HIS JOB?

— sixthformpoet (@sixthformpoet) 2019年6月9日

 

 

 「我试着对他们解释流浪的意思,他们说如果他没有钱,我应该给他一些钱。老天爷,我说钱又不是长在树上,而且"我们"的钱都用来准备去迪士尼乐园了,你可以猜到接下来故事会怎么发展」

I tried to explain homelessness and they were like if he doesn’t have any money, you should just give him some. CHRIST. I said money doesn’t grow on trees and all the spare cash *we* have is taking us Disneyland. YOU CAN SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING.

— sixthformpoet (@sixthformpoet) 2019年6月9日

 

 

 「我们回家后,他们说有事情要宣布,弄得好像要开场记者会一样,他们现在不想把那2950镑花在迪士尼乐园上了,他们想要用这笔钱让那个人有地方住,我操,孩子们,我们明天白天就要出门了耶」

We got home and they said they had an announcement to make like they were calling a press conference. They didn’t want to spend that £2,950 on Disneyland, they wanted it to pay for that guy to have somewhere to live. FUCKING HELL KIDS WE’RE GOING IN THE MORNING.

— sixthformpoet (@sixthformpoet) 2019年6月9日

 

 

 

 「我只好说OK你们听好,这很复杂,我们甚至不认识他,而且虽然老实说这举动非常温馨我很以你们为傲,但你们快给我去睡觉我们明天一大早要出门,但他们非常坚持」

I was like ok look it’s a really complicated issue and we don’t even know him and honestly it’s lovely I’m so proud of you but SERIOUSLY GO TO BED we’ve got an early start. But they were adamant.

— sixthformpoet (@sixthformpoet) 2019年6月9日

 

 

 

 「我只好回去告诉他这整个故事,然后说那个我现在也不可能取消迪士尼乐园之旅我也没办法变出3000镑给你但我们可以让你住在青年旅馆里一段时间,他哭了,告诉我不用这么做,我也哭了,然后说真的我不做的话他们永远不会原谅我」

I went back and told him the story and said look I can’t cancel Disneyland and I don’t have another three grand lying around but we can pay for you to stay in a hostel for a bit. He cried and said no, I cried and said SERIOUSLY THEY’LL NEVER FORGIVE ME.

— sixthformpoet (@sixthformpoet) 2019年6月9日

 

 

 「他说好,谢谢,然后我载他到一间青年旅馆,替他订了房间,我们之后一直保持连络,在圣诞节的时候他有过来拜访,老天保佑他,他带来了一对米奇与米妮娃娃。太温馨了,圣诞节快乐

He said ok thank you and I drove him to a hostel and booked him in. We stayed in touch and he came round for Christmas Day. Bless him he brought a cuddly Mickey and Minnie Mouse with him. Lovely - MERRY CHRISTMAS.

[END]

— sixthformpoet (@sixthformpoet) 2019年6月9日

 

三.

 

 「我隔壁住着一对情侣,名叫Lucy与Tim,他们都是好人,但两人很不一样,Tim是群居动物那种会说滚过来跟我喝杯香槟的类型,而Lucy就比较保守一点了」

THREE

I lived next door to a couple called Lucy and Tim. They were both lovely but very different to one another. He was a gregarious GET IN HERE AND DRINK CHAMPAGNE WITH ME type, she was far more reserved.

— sixthformpoet (@sixthformpoet) 2019年6月9日

 

 

 「两年前,完全没有预警地,Tim过世了,我带了束花跟卡片然后说抱歉我也不想打扰你但我希望你知道如果你需要什么我们就在这里,我给了她我的电话号码,没有派上用场过」

Two years ago, completely out of the blue, Tim died. I wend round with some flowers and a card and said look I don’t want to intrude, I just want you to know that we’re here if you need us. I gave her my number. She didn’t use it.

— sixthformpoet (@sixthformpoet) 2019年6月9日

 

 

 

 「至少前面18个月没有,去年圣诞节,我们邀请了一大堆人来一起吃晚餐,那时才刚刚黄昏,每个人都有点喝醉了,然后电话响了,是Lucy,她说我自杀了。靠腰」

Not for the first 18 months anyway. Last Christmas we had a million people round for dinner and it was early evening and everyone was a bit drunk. The phone rang - Lucy. She said Matt I’ve tried to kill myself. FUCK.

— sixthformpoet (@sixthformpoet) 2019年6月9日

 

 

 

 「我说好喔我现在过去,你能让我进去吗?她说不,我已经吞了药,我现在动不了了,不过厨房的门是开着的,我让其他人打电话叫救护车,然后走出门爬过围墙,在圣诞节的夜晚,穿着T恤跟短裤」

I said ok I’m coming over, can you let me in? She said no I’ve taken pills I can’t move but the kitchen door is open. I got someone to call an ambulance and went outside to climb over the fence. In my shorts and t-shirt. On Christmas night.

— sixthformpoet (@sixthformpoet) 2019年6月9日

 

 

 

 「我冷毙了,而且外面还开始下雨,我爬过围墙,滑了一下,身上都是泥土还擦破了脚,不过总之呢,我走进厨房,她坐在扶手椅上,表情一片空白,问我说Matt我会死吗?」

It was freezing and starting to rain but anyway. I climbed over the fence, slipped, got covered in mud, grazed my legs BUT ANYWAY. I went to the kitchen door and let myself in. She was sitting in an armchair with a vacant expression and said Matt am I going to die?

— sixthformpoet (@sixthformpoet) 2019年6月9日

 

 

 「我说老实说我不知道,不过你到底做了什么?她说吞了药,药丸跟琴酒。我说好,多少药丸?她说4个,我的老天爷,我整个:4个!就这样(我是说,我的衣服都一团糟了)?!,然后我问多少琴酒?她说两瓶大的。你在跟我开玩笑对吧?」

I said I have no idea tbh what exactly have you done? Pills she said. PILLS AND GIN. I said ok how many pills? Honest to god she said four. I went FOUR IS THAT ALL?! (I mean my clothes were a mess!!) How many gins? She said two large ones. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

— sixthformpoet (@sixthformpoet) 2019年6月9日

 

 

 「她说我不会死,是不是?我说你这笨蛋,你明天可能连宿醉都不会,此时有人敲门-急救员到了,他问我她吞了多少药,她看了看我,扬眉说12个,谎言。」

She said I’m not going to die, am I? I said YOU PROBABLY WON’T EVEN HAVE A HANGOVER YOU CLOWN. There was a knock at the door - the paramedic. He asks how many pills she’s had. She looks at me, arches a brow and says twelve pills. A LIE.

— sixthformpoet (@sixthformpoet) 2019年6月9日

 

 

 

 「急救员接着问多少琴酒?然后Lucy再次先看我,扬眉,接着吐出谎话。12瓶,她说,我的老天爷。」

The paramedic asks how many gins and again Lucy looks at me first, arches a brow and LIES THROUGH HER TEETH. Twelve gins, she says. Christ.

— sixthformpoet (@sixthformpoet) 2019年6月9日

 

「急救员发现有哪里不对劲后,Lucy还是说实话了。我们都同意Lucy会活下来的,急救员说她最好跟我待在一起,所以我把她带到我家,把她介绍给所有人」

 

The paramedic caught on and Lucy confessed. It was agreed she would probably survive four ibuprofen and a couple of gins and the paramedic said she could come with me. I took her to my house and introduced her to everyone.

— sixthformpoet (@sixthformpoet) 2019(e)ko ekainaren 9(a)

 

 

 「所有人,包含上面提过的那个无家可归的朋友约翰,你记得吧?他们一拍即合然后我们长话短说,他们订婚了。明年他们会在这整个故事一开始发生的那个村庄结婚。噢噢噢噢噢噢噢噢

全剧终」

Everyone including John, our homeless friend from Part Two, remember? They got along famously and to cut a long story short THEY JUST GOT ENGAGED. Next year they’ll get married in the exact same village in which this story began. AWWWWWWWW.

[END]

— sixthformpoet (@sixthformpoet) 2019年6月9日

 

 

 

 我是说,这可以拍成一部电影,真的。只要编剧敢宣称灵感自于这些推文,我就10刷。

 

网友表示

 

「我不应该笑得这么开心的」

推特话题《我和老婆因为扫墓结缘》 扫墓不稀奇后面才是真正超展开⊙Д⊙-唯淘网
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「这应该是 "我怎么遇见我老婆的"最棒的故事之一了」

推特话题《我和老婆因为扫墓结缘》 扫墓不稀奇后面才是真正超展开⊙Д⊙-唯淘网
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「那他最好不要最后跟罗宾阿姨在一起」

推特话题《我和老婆因为扫墓结缘》 扫墓不稀奇后面才是真正超展开⊙Д⊙-唯淘网
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「谁快来拍这部电影」

推特话题《我和老婆因为扫墓结缘》 扫墓不稀奇后面才是真正超展开⊙Д⊙-唯淘网
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「这真是既疯狂又奇妙」

推特话题《我和老婆因为扫墓结缘》 扫墓不稀奇后面才是真正超展开⊙Д⊙-唯淘网
图片来自:boredpanda.com

 

「很遗憾听到你失去了父亲,以及对陌生人献花,这真的是很贴心的行为,他的行为并不会抵消你的好意」

推特话题《我和老婆因为扫墓结缘》 扫墓不稀奇后面才是真正超展开⊙Д⊙-唯淘网
图片来自:boredpanda.com